Performing in class: Physical Destination.

So, what did I experience in this exercise?

First of all, the diagram was good. I didn't even have to tell people what to do -- they completely understood and moved the right furniture to the right places. That gave me a chance to focus on something else (talk to the instructor, for example), but I could've used this chance with greater benefit.

The stress came from one mistake I made. I wore my casual cloths today, and in the scene demanded being dressed up for work. With that I tried to modify the scene to fit my outfit. I came up with a few things, but it wasn't perfect. Now, I ran out of time and had to go to class. In class, I kept trying, which was gave me some room to maneuver. The pressure was on, however, when I came onstage, I stopped trying and that's when my final opportunities came - while everyone was looking at my diagram, I had a minute to tell the professor and the class about my difficulties.

Had I not been thinking how to modify the scene, I wouldn't have any options for the professor: make disbelief of the wrong cloths or pretend that I had the wrong laptop (The scene would've worked with dress-down cloths if I had a work laptop with me -- but I had my mac.)

My next opportunity was created by Joseph Daily himself. His experience helped him recognize that something is wrong with my game plan for the scene. He didn't know exactly what it was, so he offered me a side step: "scene too short, take your cloths off and spend time putting them on." My instinct told me that I could easily do it, but my mind said -- I shouldn't have. So, I didn't go for it and instead settled for previously prepared "loose the socks and belt thing." I did not see this as an opportunity, because I thought that looking for opp-s to improve the scene should end before I come onstage.

BTW, about taking cloths off:
There is something wrong about planning nakedness. That just means that you feel that your dramatic abilities are lacking in the scene you're preparing, so you need to fall back on a cheap thrill - bare skin. But, if somebody challenges you, then it's different. The challenge means that they believe you can do better, and you just need a push. Just like when the twelve-year-old Joshua doesn't want to go to his soccer practice. He needs a little push. This works most of the time. But, there are days when it doesn't. Such days feel morbid. Joshua, finally agreeing to go to practice is like me agreeing to take cloths off. It's right only if it feels right.

The next opportunity came to socialize with John (scene partner) when I bumped into him in the bathroom. I seized it and had a very revealing conversation with him. There were 2-3 opportunities to learn about him in the conversation by asking the right questions. I did it. Though, in the end, he gave me an opportunity to find out what he did for a living. But, I shied away from it.

A side thought:
it's better when something doesn't work in the beginning. It's better to work through the glitches, when the pressure of failure is relatively low. The higher we get, the pressure to fail is higher because there is a lot at stake. But, this is only the case, when one doesn't do it right. Basically, each effort should have a benefit. If one can't see the benefit -- one should try hard to realize what the benefit might be, or avoid doing the task. One needs to keep trying to lower the pressure of failure on every level.

So, something going wrong in the beginning of my semester, just gives me more time to work on the problem, than if I figured this out one week before the end of the semester. Let's be frank, missing opportunities is not a good thing. It's a problem. But, missing one opportunity is not the problem itself - it's a manifestation of a faulty approach. Fixing the approach will take a long time -- it just needs practice. One is getting better at it with every little success.

In retrospect:
This happened during the improvisation two weeks ago. The instructor asked if I was ready to do a scene. I wasn't, so I told him that. Instantly I felt that I missed my chance -- I was itching to act that day. So, I just looked for the next opportunity. Every time he looked at the list of students to pair someone up for the improvisation, I imagined that it would be me and tried to prepare mentally. There were some people that I felt uncomfortable acting with, and some people that I felt very comfortable, but it turned out that I received a neutral person... and I thought I did well. Though, I was so overwhelmed, I did not tell her right after the scene that she did great.

Today, I had a fear of not knowing how to do the scene. I didn't feel like laboring through it. I felt that I did my homework and performing it on-stage should be a walk in the park. I didn't confront my fear. One needs to do something one is afraid of doing in that moment. I did not believe that I deserved to succeed because I mad the initial mistake - wearing wrong cloths.

So, in the scene, I did what was easy (hugging John, taking socks and belt off), rather what was necessary: (1) having a conversation with John about why I really am late on "delivering the second part of the script" (that was our predicament) or (2) taking some of my essential cloths off.

So, the end result of the scene was not just one missed opportunity. It was a whole slew of them one after another. I didn't miss all of them -- just the critical mass.

So, that is what was wrong with my technique. If I think, I have ability to do something well, and I miss a chance, then I will probably have another chance, and if I don't, I won't feel bad about it because I will have tried my best till the end.

HW 2: Exercise 1: Physical Destination

Here're the sketch of the stage and the practice video I created:



The purpose of this exercise, as I understand it, is to create and practice a basic framework that can be used in small scenes. The exercise consists of three parts:

----------------------------
ENTRANCE
ACT
EXIT
----------------------------

ENTRANCE:

Actually, this applies to time immediately before the entrance. While waiting for his turn to come on stage, an actor needs think through the following 6 steps (Hagen technique, paraphrased in my own words):

1. Who am I?
What is my state of being? How am I feeling?
My name, origins.

2. What are my circumstances?
Where am I right now? Where did I come from just now? What time is it?
What am I wearing?

3. What are my relationships?
How do I feel about people around me? (strangers, people that know me, people that I just met and befriended, people that immediately disapprove me, people that don't yet know they play a role in my current condition, but will find out).

4. What is my desire, my immediate goal?
What do I want to do in nearest future?
(What would make me smile, if I heard that I'm about to get it?)

5. What is my problem?
What stands in my way of getting what I want right now? What do I need to overcome?
Whom do I need to convince? What do I need to find out? How soon?

6. What am I doing to overcome the problem?
How do I go about convincing somebody? How do I gather necessary information?

Answering some of these questions can take 30 minutes. Here's what I've experienced while working through them:

While I worked through the questions, I became almost entirely disconnected from the outer world. My complete attention was focused on my own character. I closed my eyes, or focused on a stale object. I did not see people and do not recall conversations that happened around me. This required a lot of concentration, almost physical pain.

At some point, once I found most of the answers, my mind relaxed. Most importantly, my attention suddenly shifted from me to my immediate surroundings. The exercise put me into a very alert state of mind. I could see many things around me at once: the evening sky, the city lights, the reflection of them on the river, walking people and motionless buildings. I could also hear and understand sounds w/out much effort: casual conversations of runners passing by, tapping of computer keyboard, humming of engines from passing cars.

I felt as if I'm strong, confident and able to comprehend a lot, understand the state of mind of other people, easily guess where others are coming from and where they are going right now.

I did not forget that I was being seen by other people. The negative aspect of being watched was gone. I liked it. I felt as if everyone would like or respect me and whatever I was about to do next. I felt that people who wouldn't approve of me, were simply distressed by something outside of my responsibility or control.

The overall feeling was rather magical.


ACT
Once the questions are answered, I simply need to go onstage and complete the tasks dictated by the answers to the 6 steps (questions). I need to perform the tasks to achieve my immediate goal and to overcome the problems/obstacles along the way.

For example, my goal was to leave home in the morning in good mood, so as to enjoy my drive to work:
I put my laptop into my backpack, cash in my pants' pocket, and my wallet in my backpack's front pocket. I stick my feet into my shoes and walk out the door. I check my hip and don't find my cell phone on my belt. I may need it today (new obstacle). I return home and collect the cellphone from the bookshelf (action to overcome obstacle). I walk out the door again. I check my pockets -- no car keys (next obstacle). I return and retrieve them from the hook by the door (action). I am now stressed out by the idea that I may be forgetting something else (another obstacle). I want to leave the house relaxed, or else the way to work will not be pleasant (goal). I pause by the door and think hard through what else I might need: cash, wallet, keys, phone. I'm good to go now - I walk out the door relaxed.

As I saw in class last week, carrying out these actions (getting ready, leaving, returning...etc.) is merely a preparation for acting. It's the background, over which acting will happen. It is necessary for creating the illusion of reality. But, this reality would be not interesting enough, w/ out interaction. So, in class, I will first act out this background alone. Then, the teacher will pair me up with another student, who will try to engage me into a difficult conversation, which is supposed to distract me from carrying out my actions. Both, the background act (going to work) and the main act (engaging conversation) come together to make the scene look real and interesting to the viewer. The "background" (a.k.a. Physical Destination) should help me create continuation of life, as if someone put a hidden camera in my apartment and recorded me actually leaving for work in the morning.

EXIT
Exit from the stage is only natural if I'm thinking about where I'm going next in the on-stage life. So, in my example, I'll be going behind the stage curtain thinking about my way to work, traffic, time that I still have, what road to take, what to listen to on the way, and what to do at work. I need to keep in mind that acting doesn't stop with the last phrase, or gesture on stage. Just as live doesn't stop when I achieve my immediate mini goal -- leaving for work in good mood. A new goal usually emerges right away, so I have to focus on it as I'm leaving the stage.

Homework 1

Here's my first homework for the "Acting Beginner Technique" with Joseph Daily class I'm taking at BH Studio in Manhattan.

This homework is based on the book "A Challenge for the Actor" by Uta Hagen.

I've started testing the six step technique (page 134) by evaluating my average day, similarly to the way the author describes her coming home after work (pages 136 and 137) .

Here're my observations from this exercise.

Step 1: who am I?

Right away the 1st step, revealed something. I was going to meet some new people today and wanted to project an image of a married man and a professional, but my absence of a wedding ring, baggy shorts and an overly short T-shirt painted a different picture, and I hadn't even realized it.

Step 2: what are the circumstances?

I also realized that I was fixated on the happenings of that day and had no clear idea what time it was, what I did this very morning or what I was going to do tomorrow or the rest of the week.


Step 3: what are my relationships?

I knew, some of my circumstances, and the relationships with people I dealt with that day (mostly my family).


Step 4: what do I want?

However, I had no idea what I wanted from the people. Had no objective overall, and picked small immediate objectives without first checking if they fit into / support my overall goal.


Step 5: what is my obstacle?

Because, I was not conscious about my overall objective for the day, I've mistaken the circumstances that had no bearing on the end result as my obstacles. The result was that I was very tired and frustrated. I did not feel accomplished enough because my fatigue was disproportionally high in comparison to my achievement.


Step 6: what do I do to get what I want?

I think, this step should involve thinking and choice. Having done the work in 5 previous steps, one should be left with a power to choose the course of action. This should feel good, because options give me a freedom to choose. But, I felt trapped by small choices that did not matter in the end.

Acting classes

I created a map of acting classes in NYC and NJ. Some are very interesting.

View Acting schools - NYC/NJ in a larger map